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July 01 2017

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OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!

Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.

The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

@humans-are-space-orcs @humans-are-weird-reblogs @spaceterrors @space-australians @spaceorc9

June 30 2017

June 29 2017


Just because you did something wrong in the past doesn’t mean you can’t advocate against it now. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite. You just grew. Don’t let people use your past to invalidate your current mindset.

June 28 2017




The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.

Never heard a truer thing in my life.

holy shit wait you mean being just morbidly terrified of doing anything wrong ISN’T necessarily the same as being “well behaved?!”




let your character fuck up. please. let them fuck up on a scale so massive that this particular thing cannot be salvaged. let their fuck up have permanent consequences. and stoooooooooooooooop having them being the smartest person in the room who always has a sharp comeback to put their enemies down, and who always handles their enemies with grace or at least an air of superiority that s justified because they’re so cool and smart and clever™

let them bleed for their mistakes, let them MAKE those mistakes, and let that bleeding be ugly and disgraceful. let them suffer for their own mistakes, and let them suffer in knowing that they cannot fix. and let other people hate them for the shit they’ve done, and for once let the haters not be ‘petty bad people’.

Let the haters be right.


note to self re:insanity check maybe

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this is the best reaction ever

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German Shepherd confronts backyard ‘intruder’. [video]

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source: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/115007729788-Heads-up-for-AT-T-customers

In other words, if you’re using an ATT email for your Tumblr account, you need to go change your email or you will pretty much be…


Well this sucks but I don’t want it catching people by surprise so signal boost I guess

what the actual fuck


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So if you lived in a society where you had to secure your communication in order to be yourself around others, here are the apps that could help you do that.

Signal let’s you securely text and make phone calls.

Onion Browser allows you to surf the web without leaving a trail.

Duck Duck Go isn’t super secure but it won’t record your searches like Google.

ProtonMail is a email client that lets you email other secure email accounts.

Periscope allows you to stream live video.

Semaphor is there so you can securely make group chat rooms.

American privacy laws allow you to use these all. So that’s pretty cool.

Because we’re currently living in the prologue of a cyberpunk dystopian novel, imma reblog this.

Reblog to save a life

I had no idea the hacking anticorporate tools of the shadowrun dystopic future would have such good graphic design departments


If you go through my blog and like/reblog a lot of my posts at once:
- There’s no need to apologize
- You’re not bothering me
- I love you





I fucking hate languages.

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.

How do you like them apples.

I fucking love languages.

In case anyone doubts the veracity of this:

[ source ]

Calling boobs ‘melons’ literally transcends culture, time, and language.

June 27 2017

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Analysis indicates partisan gerrymandering has benefited GOP

The AP scrutinized the outcomes of all 435 U.S. House races and about 4,700 state House and Assembly seats up for election last year using a new statistical method of calculating partisan advantage. It’s designed to detect cases in which one party may have won, widened or retained its grip on power through political gerrymandering.

The analysis found four times as many states with Republican-skewed state House or Assembly districts than Democratic ones. Among the two dozen most populated states that determine the vast majority of Congress, there were nearly three times as many with Republican-tilted U.S. House districts.

Traditional battlegrounds such as Michigan, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Florida and Virginia were among those with significant Republican advantages in their U.S. or state House races. All had districts drawn by Republicans after the last Census in 2010.

The AP analysis also found that Republicans won as many as 22 additional U.S. House seats over what would have been expected based on the average vote share in congressional districts across the country. That helped provide the GOP with a comfortable majority over Democrats instead of a narrow one.

Republicans held several advantages heading into the 2016 election. They had more incumbents, which carried weight even in a year of “outsider” candidates. Republicans also had a geographical advantage because their voters were spread more widely across suburban and rural America instead of being highly concentrated, as Democrats generally are, in big cities.

Yet the data suggest that even if Democrats had turned out in larger numbers, their chances of substantial legislative gains were limited by gerrymandering.

“The outcome was already cooked in, if you will, because of the way the districts were drawn,” said John McGlennon, a longtime professor of government and public policy at the College of William & Mary in Virginia who ran unsuccessfully for Congress as a Democrat in the 1980s.

A separate statistical analysis conducted for AP by the Princeton University Gerrymandering Project found that the extreme Republican advantages in some states were no fluke. The Republican edge in Michigan’s state House districts had only a 1-in-16,000 probability of occurring by chance; in Wisconsin’s Assembly districts, there was a mere 1-in-60,000 likelihood of it happening randomly, the analysis found.

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Cheetah’s best friend. (via ImACultHero)

Imagine aliens finding out about constellations...


Alien astronomer: “So a few million years ago [their planet orbits its sun at a higher speed than ours does] we mapped out all the stars in our sky and split the sections of sky into what you’d call elevenths.

Human astronomer: “Why elevenths?”

Alien astronomer: “It’s silly really, but at the time eleven was considered to be a holy number. I know, it’s stupid and every alien I’ve met has always made fun of us for being so superstitious. So, how did you split up your sky?”

Human astronomer: “Er… animal shapes.”



oh my god i can’t breath. My mom paused the news and the news caster women reflected off the tv into this picture frame 


and it looks like we have a picture of her 

I scoured my blog for this post because I randomly remembered that it happened once and it’s still funny

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Pixar’s WALL·E was first released on June 27, 2008.

The first Pixar film to be nominated for 6 Academy Awards. This ties it with the only other animated film to garner this many nominations: Beauty and the Beast (1991). (x)

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Rich people showers

reblogging for that gif

i’m sorry i couldn’t help myself 


Ok so I think its time to genuinely start thinking of a virtual bug-out plan but I don’t know shit about other sites, so can someone please at least give me a quick run down of other sites like Livejournal and Soup are like? Like what the general user base is like, what the staff is like/what they support, and if there are any restrictions I might need to know about like no NSFW or no X contant

Also whats IRC? I have no idea what that is, also a quick rundown of Discord would be nice bc I’ve heard some things about it but I’ve never been on it

Also mutuals hit me up with where else I can find y'all even though I don’t talk or really interact with most of you (I’m just shy ok)






Sometimes I think back on the time I spent working as a barista, and it seems SO STRANGE to me that “coffee shop AU” has become synonymous with narratives that are low on conflict, high on wholesome romance. During the year I spent working at a coffee shop:

  • A coworker of mine took a bunch of psychedelics, walked through some strangers’ plate-glass door, and threatened them with a bowie knife, leading to his arrest and imprisonment (and, needless to say, a late opening for the coffee shop that morning). 
  • Another coworker, an ex-military type with a young wife and a new baby, decided to smoke up for the first time ever with two other mutual coworkers, in the back of one of their trucks; and ended up having a three-way with them which ended his marriage. 
  • I had a nervous breakdown, stopped being able to eat food or hold conversations, and ended up sleeping on my coworker’s couch for three weeks before she finally called my parents to come collect me.
  • Multiple store managers were fired for embezzlement. (Reminder: this was within the space of a single year.)
  • Yet another coworker, who was seventeen at the time, started dog-sitting for a couple of regulars in their (I’m guessing) early 50s, and ended up in an ongoing creepy and incidentally illegal ~relationship~ with them both. 
  • Various employees discovered, in the course of cleaning the bathrooms: couples fucking in the bathrooms; junkies passed out in the bathrooms; drunks puking in the bathrooms; both adults and children weeping in the bathrooms; a woman bleeding all over the bathroom from a gash in her throat (??); a dude standing in the middle of the bathroom floor and pissing in the opposite direction from the toilet, so that when the employee opened the unlocked door she got piss all over her (????). 
  • The owner of the bridal shop across the street was exposed as both abusive toward her employees and also cooking the books, which led to my coffee shop taking on a couple of untrained and weirdly conservative bridal shop workers for a few months while the bridal shop was shuttered and sold to new owners. Later the larcenous former bridal shop owner came down with some horrible disease which caused her to lose both her hands.  
  • There was a regular universally referred to as “Sketchy Steve,” who came in at 7am for a three-shot latte with room for Seagrams 7, and dealt drugs to all us baristas. I actually, at one point (I cannot believe I was this stupid), went inside Sketchy Steve’s house, and allowed him to spend like half an hour showing me his collection of découpaged outlet plates and also soliciting me for sex while I uncomfortably yet studiously declined.
  • Right before I started, the store manager had walked off the job in the middle of a shift, and ¾ of the employees had walked out after him. None of them ever returned. 

Like, working on the front lines of food service was the most operatically sordid professional experience I have ever had, and one of the most surreal; and it is hilarious to me that THAT, of all jobs, is the one that has come to stand for soft-focus domestic romance in fandom circles. 

This is the Coffee Shop AU we deserve.

Two of my managers got fired for having an affair with each other. There was this guy I never really talked to, so one time I see him and ask how his weekend was. He says “I wanted to drop some acid but I couldn’t find any.” Never saw him again.

I had a friend whose manager used to sit in the backroom doing lines of coke before opening at 7am. It was and I quote ‘the only way to deal with this shit’.

My own manager, who was heavily pregnant at the time, told an asshole customer to take their latte and shove it up their arse, before walking out and promptly going into labor.

We had homeless people sleeping in our dumpsters who used to throw the trash back out at us when we opened the lid.

I have myself uttered the phrase “M'am, I am the manager” after they dumped a cream cake over my head because it wasn’t what they ordered except it was. They even pointed at it first and said “that one”.

I had a customer piss themselves out of defiance when we asked them to leave. Then when the police were called they did it again, like some vengeful piss camel.

I’m telling you friends, I have stood at the precipice of hell, I have stared into the void and plummeted into the depths of humanity and it tips less than 20%.

I feel honored to have met all of you darlings

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